Do you see this boy right here?
He is my son, my first born, my first true love. He helped raise me into who I am today. He made me a better person, opening my mind to a world I did not ask for, nor did I want. He is Alec Davis, the one who allowed me to see people for who they really are- not just who they look like- or who I think they should be.
Even though I can no longer hold his hand, he will hold my heart for eternity. Born March 14, 1995 when I was only 18-years-old (and completely clueless), we tackled the world together. As a young, single mom, you build a relationship with your child that is irreplaceable. Being just the two of us for 11 years we built a connection that can never be duplicated . During this time I worked full time attending school at night to earn my bachelors degree. Busy, yes, but always created time to eat lunch with him at school, play on the floor, build forts in the living room and snuggle on Friday nights watching “Reba” on tv. Treasured times for eternity.
As the teenage years approached, we were presented with different challenges of learning disabilities, blending families and all the “fun” of being a teenager. High school became more difficult with the introduction of alcohol and drugs leading to full on addiction by the time he was 18. Let me just go on record here, this is not what they wrote about in those “What to Expect When You are Expecting” books.
The years following were a series of roller coasters consisting of sobriety, recovery and relapses. Yes, I had hard days of watching him struggle, but I also had pride in watching him fight daily to overcome his addictions and be sober. It brought me so much joy watching him rock being an adult.
After 24 years with him, Jesus decided to call him home. To say I was not ready is an understatement. Our time together shaped me. Our time apart has shaped me even more. Some days, I am good. Some days I am not so good. Most days, I simply exist unable to put into words how I feel… That’s when I began to write…
